


that's just the way you make me feel

by levlinwinlaer



Series: in stanford red [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, i stan stephanie mccaffrey funniest person alive, kellex - Freeform, the kellex bike theft au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-04-07 13:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14082003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levlinwinlaer/pseuds/levlinwinlaer
Summary: “Um,” she starts, which is just great! Really great. Smooth as always, O’Hara. “I’ll totally make up for it. Stealing your bike, that is. So, uh, can I buy you a coffee?”It just hangs there. Alex Morgan stares at her, stone-faced.And then-“Americano. Small.” She turns, still pushing the bike, and strides away toward the Starbucks behind them. “And you’re paying for the scone.”or,the kellex bike theft au, where kelley's a star soccer player and alex is an olympic biking champion and they fall in love a little too quickly.inspired by and dedicated to @kellexohara (@utahrxyals) on tumblr.





	1. baby, don't make me spell it out for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [00trumpet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/00trumpet/gifts).



> i'm gay and don't know how to write please enjoy the result

Kelley’s not quite sure what compels her to that bike in particular. It’s not all that special, really, just a polished red bike with ‘Ruby’ scrawled on the side in black Sharpie, but it’s not like she has much choice when Ali is chasing her down, so she jimmies the lock and swings her leg over the seat, wheeling it away.

She looks over her shoulder and sees Ali’s Range Rover turn in the other direction, and whoops, loud and victorious. The wind licks her face, tendrils of her hair escaping the messy bun she’d tied it into during the body shots, and she pumps a fist above her head. Unfortunately, that’s the same moment that her body remembers the four shots of tequila that’s been poured into it, and the bike gives a dangerous little lurch beneath her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Kelley chants, trying to right it, and then it clicks into gear and she’s sailing down the street.

Kelley’s just sober enough to tiptoe into her apartment, towing the bike behind her. She shushes it as it clanks against the doorway, but unfortunately for her, Press is still up, and she whips around and takes in Kelley’s messy appearance with narrowed eyes.

“Kelley-“ she starts, frowning, and Kelley sighs and slumps against the wall, tuning her out. Honestly. Press can be such a _mom_ sometimes.

“-and is that even your bike? Your bike’s blue, right? And you look like you’ve been drinking, too! Kelley, midterms are tomorrow!”

“It’s not my bike, and its name is _Ruby_. Christ, Press, have a little respect-“

“Now is not the time to joke around, O’Hara!”

Kelley cringes, but she lets Christen frogmarch her to bed.

“Return that bike tomorrow before you take your test,” she orders.

“Yikes, mom. Is Tobin not fulfilling her bedroom duties properly? It’d explain-“

“Kelley!” Christen snaps, blushing. “No! Tobin and I-“ she falters slightly, but Kelley’s just a little too drunk to notice- “it’s not like that. Anyways! Return that bike tomorrow.”

“Aw,” Kelley whines. “But it’s such a smooth ride! Not that you’d know how that feels, Press, cause you obviously haven’t been getting any- okay, okay! Sorry! Didn’t mean it. Going to sleep.”

 

She wakes up the next morning feeling like a large man wearing a stiletto is balancing on her forehead.

“Fuck,” she groans dismally, sitting up and nearly smacking her head against the headboard. Her mouth tastes like cotton and regrets, and she’s decently sure she’s still wearing her shoes. She looks down to confirm it, and is met with the sight of none other than her favourite roommate.

Press looks up from her phone and gives her a terrifying smirk. “Shouldn’t have drunk that much, should you? You have a test in five minutes across campus.”

Kelley chokes, falling out of bed in her rush to get up.

Christen cackles, lowering her phone and sending the video to Ali for future blackmail material. “I’m joking. You have, like, three hours.”

“I hate you so much, Press,” Kelley says, pouting up at her from the floor. “You’re so mean. Actually, you know what? When I win a Nobel Prize, you’re uninvited to the ceremony.”

“Nope,” Christen says, popping the ‘p’. “I’ve saved your ass too many times to not get the chance to meet a cute nerdy rich girl.”

“It’s not like Tobin isn’t already super loaded from her weird rich parents,” Kelley says very subtly.

“Stop talking about me and Tobin!” Christen snaps, her cheeks going pink. “And get up already.”

“Okay, okay, _mom_.” Kelley hauls herself upright, and takes the aspirin Christen tosses at her.

She almost trips over the red bike going out the door, and swears, yanking it up and pushing it in front of her into the elevator. The girl next to her, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, gives her a sympathetic look.

“Midterms,” Kelley groans, and bashes her head against the wall.

“I feel ya,” the girl says sympathetically. “I have _so many_ tests, man. Life hurts.”

“I hate college,” Kelley decides. “How about you?”

“Same. I’m Allie, by the way.”

“Kelley.”

“Nice bike,” Allie says, and then peers at it curiously. “It looks just like Alex’s.”

Kelley forces a laugh, and shifts surreptitiously so that she’s covering the Sharpie scrawl on one side of it. “Alex, huh?”

“Yeah,” Allie says, giving her a weird look. “You know. Alex Morgan.”

 _Fuck_.

Kelley nearly drops the bike, race stats and gold medals flooding into her head, a bike named Ruby and an Olympic podium and cheering crowds. “Alex _Morgan_?”

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay? I know midterms can be-“

“Yep! Yes! Yeah. I’m totally fine. Super okay. Good as it comes. Just- um. She’s the Olympian, right?”

Allie grins. “So you’re a Morgan fan, huh. Yeah. She’s the Olympian. Which explains how cool her bike is. Really, though, that looks _exactly_ like hers.”

Kelley laughs, high-pitched and way too loud. “What a coincidence, am I right?”

“Yeah,” Allie says, taking a tiny step back and giving her a worried look as the elevator doors open. “Well, good luck on your midterms.”

“You too!” Kelley says brightly, waiting for her to step out before practically sprinting away in the other direction, still pushing the bike.

As she nears the rack that she took it off, she notices someone standing in front of the only empty space, with a high ponytail and pink pre-wrap and- oh no. Kelley steels herself for a moment before taking a few tentative steps forward.

The girl- Alex Morgan, from the looks of it- has a phone to her ear, pacing in tight, controlled lines. “Christ,” she says, sounding panicked. “Allie, I know! Look, I don’t know why I decided to put her in a college bike rack, I know it was stupid or whatever, but I only moved in yesterday and I thought she’d be okay overnight. For all I know, someone could have already sold it to the highest bidder. Or maybe some stupid college kid.”

She runs a hand through her hair, and then pauses. Kelley tries not to look conspicuous, waving too brightly at a passerby who gives her an odd look.

“A girl with a red bike? Which building?”

“Oh, fuck it all,” Kelley murmurs to herself, and steps up, tapping her on the shoulder. Alex Morgan whirls, her eyes taking Kelley in with a quick once-over.

“What do you want?” she snaps.

“Okay, first off, I’m the Kelley she’s probably talking about,” Kelley says, taking a deep breath. “Let me explain-“

“Oh my God,” Alex Morgan says, her eyes fixing on the bike, which Kelley surrenders to her. She hangs up with a brief “Yeah, Allie, I found her,” and snatches the handlebars away.

“I’m really sorry,” Kelley says, stepping back and releasing the bike into Alex Morgan’s (very capable, well-manicured, delicate- _stop looking at her fingers_ ) hands. “Look, I was kind of drunk last night, and I might have gone on a little escapade that woefully happened to involve your- I’m so sorry.”

Alex Morgan somehow manages to cock an eyebrow and narrow her eyes at the same time. Kelley is midway between nervous, scared, and turned on. And, unfortunately, a nervous Kelley is a rambling Kelley.

“So I kind of stole your bike last night in the final chapter of an export-fuelled rampage. But it’s a really smooth ride! Great bike choice. Ten out of ten would steal again.” And she flashes Alex Morgan the finger guns.

Alex Morgan stares at her with the most unimpressed face that Kelley has ever seen and- wow. The cameras don't do her justice. Kelley’s never been so scared in her whole life.

“Um,” she starts, which is just great! Really great. Smooth as always, O’Hara. “I’ll totally make it up to you. Which I should. So, uh, can I buy you a coffee?”

Her words hang in the air for a moment. Alex Morgan stares at her, stone-faced.

And then-

“Americano. Small.” She turns, still pushing the bike, and strides away toward the Starbucks behind them. “And you’re paying for the scone.”

Kelley gapes after her, but then scrambles to catch up, congratulating herself with a mental fist bump. “Deal. Absolutely. I would be totally happy to be an even broke-er college student for the sake of a pretty girl.”

Alex Morgan stops for a second, turning to look at her and cocking an eyebrow. “Pretty girl?”

“And Olympian,” Kelley says cheekily, back in her element. “And genius, probably. And brilliant human being with the voice of an angel.”

“Flatterer,” Alex scoffs, but she ducks her head a little when Kelley bounds in front of her to open the door for her (and her bike). “Already trying to get in my bed?”

“Oh, definitely. You’re super built,” Kelley drawls, and when Alex turns around to give her a look, she leers, purposefully letting her eyes trail down those muscled legs.

“You act like a horny fratboy,” is Alex’s verdict.

“Yeah, but it works for you, right?”

“No.”

Kelley pouts, pulling out her wallet to pay for Alex’s order. “That’s rude. People say I’m charming.”

“Have those people been victims to your rampant theft and lack of morality?”

“Ouch, Morgan. You’re pulling that card? Really?”

Alex hums. “I mean, it has a lot of weight. After all, you stole my bike. I might just pull that card for the rest of my life.”

“Take a girl to dinner first,” Kelley jokes, and for a second Alex freezes and she worries that maybe it was a step too far, but then-

“I’d need to give you my number for that, wouldn’t I?”

Kelley’s speechless. Alex gives her a smug look, then leans the bike against the wall and steps closer, reaching around Kelley to slide her hand into her back pocket. Kelley yelps, grabbing Alex’s wrist. Alex rolls her eyes.

“Relax. I’m just getting your phone. I’m not a thief, like you.”

“You didn’t have to do it like that!” Kelley protests. “And- hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I didn’t hear you complaining. And you _are_ a thief.”

Kelley blushes, and- “You don’t even know my password!”

“Is it ‘Alex Morgan'?”

“That’s terribly presumptuous of you,” Kelley says primly, “and it’s way too long.”

She reaches over to unlock her phone anyways.

Alex taps in her number and turns the phone away so that Kelley can’t see what she’s doing. After some flailing, Kelley stubs her toe on the bike wheel and gives up.

“What’d you put yourself in as?” she asks curiously.

Alex turns the phone around and shows her.

“Can I Take You To Dinner?” Kelley reads out, brow furrowing.

“Absolutely,” Alex says with an insufferably smug expression.

“You’re already being an asshole and I’ve barely even met you,” Kelley says, pouting. Alex laughs, types in ‘Alex’ and hands Kelley her phone back. Their fingers brush, and Kelley very nearly drops the damn thing. Alex’s smirk tells her that she saw it all.

“Shut up,” Kelley says, turning away to hide her blush.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Americano for Alex,” the bored-looking cashier calls out, and Kelley scrambles over to grab it for her.

Alex gives her a half-smile, half-smirk when she gets back, and takes the coffee.

“Such a gentlewoman,” she comments. Kelley turns around, halfway to holding the door open.

“Are you complaining?”

“Not at all.”

 

Alex’s favourite colour is pink, and her middle name is Patricia. She has a cat named Brooklyn- “No way! My dog- she’s back home- her name is Brooklyn, too! That’s so weird!”. She likes history but hates science with a passion. She wants to win a few more Olympic medals and then retire and be a- “sexy biker chick?” “No. A coach.” “A sexy one?” “No.”

“You could just find this out on Wikipedia or something,” Alex says.

“Yeah, well, I don’t spend all my time getting crushes on hot Olympian biker chicks by reading about them on the Internet, so you’re in luck! You get my conversation, instead.”

Alex squints at her speculatively, which is cute. “What were my stats for the 1000-metre at the Olympicss?”

“96.2 seconds,” Kelley answers immediately, and Alex grins victoriously. “Wait, no-“

“What was that about not reading about me on the Internet?”

“Not just about _you_ , you cocky attractive asshole.”

“Oh really.”

“Yes.”

Alex’s blue blue blue eyes pierce right into hers as she pauses and leans in on just the right side of too close— and Kelley abruptly forgets how to breathe. “Are you sure?”

“I watched track bike racing because I thought you were hot,” Kelley blurts out, and then- “oh, damn. Those eyes aren’t fair, Morgan. They should be registered as assault weapons. A method of torture.”

“Torture,” Alex repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“A beautiful torture,” Kelley responds, lowering her voice into an exaggerated timbre. Alex closes her eyes for a moment, and then sighs.

“I can’t believe I gave you my number,” she says.

Kelley stares at her, slightly offended and also a little starstruck. But mostly just offended. “Hey! What? I’m hot! And my personality is, like, really okay!”

“Really okay?” Alex repeats.

“Whatever. So maybe I don’t make the best case for myself. But I’m still hot.”

“That is true,” Alex agrees.

They walk for a moment longer before Kelley stops in her tracks, nearly clotheslining Alex.

“Fuck,” she groans.

“What?”

“My midterm final is in, like, three minutes, and it’s all the way across campus.”

“Well, you should probably go,” Alex says, looking amused.

“But I don’t want to!” Kelley complains. “I’m scared that if I leave, I’ll wake up and realise that stealing Alex Morgan’s bike and meeting her and hitting on her and _getting her number,_ wow- was actually all a fever dream. And that would be the _worst_.”

“The worst,” Alex agrees sombrely, trying (and failing) to hide an amused grin.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Kelley says indignantly. She catches sight of the campus clock and groans piteously again. “Fuckity fuck, I really do have to run.” She stands on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek, gives Ruby a pat, and then sprints away.

“Text me!” Alex shouts after her, still pressing a hand to her cheek. Kelley turns around, still running, and flashes her a thumbs up.

“Damn,” comes a voice from above her. “A hit and run, huh?”

Alex looks up, and sees someone sitting on a tree branch above her, bare feet dangling off the edge.

“Tobin!” she says, grinning. “If it isn’t my favourite campus tour guide! Why are you in a tree?”

Tobin points to the camera around her neck. “Adpho. Advanced Photography. We’re supposed to get a birds’ eye view.”

“Couldn’t you just go on the roof of one of the quad buildings?”

Tobin yawns lazily. “Yeah, but that’s so mainstream.” She stretches her legs, wiggles her toes, and then drops down out of the tree. “How’s the champion biker doing?”

“I’m good. Gave a pretty girl my number.”

“The runner?”

“Yeah. Her name’s Kelley.”

“What’s her major?”

“I-“ Alex frowns. “I actually don’t know. We spent most of the time talking about me.”

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Tobin mutters, and then grins when Alex squawks in offence. “Just kidding! Yeah, I actually know Kelley.We used to be roommates, back in freshman year. She’s an engineering major. Or maybe she’s changed it, I don’t know. But Kel’s crazy smart. Got into Stanford on a soccer scholarship, and I think she has an offer from MIT for a post-grad. So yeah, she likes science-y stuff.”

Alex nods, processing. “She plays soccer?”

“She’s, like, really good.” Tobin says, slinging a casual arm around Alex’s shoulders. “She's a great defender, but her coach is making her play forward. She bitched about it all of freshman year. But who am I to judge, you know?”

“How good is she?”

“As of right now, 18 goals, 38 points,” Tobin says, squinting into the sun. “Kel's really close to breaking a school record, and she’s just getting into the swing of the season.”

Alex’s jaw drops. “No way. And you roomed with her freshman year. Did you ever-?”

“Relax, champ. I’m not gunning for your girl or anything. Not everyone thinks sports stats are attractive.” She laughs, dodges the swat Alex sends her way. “We’re still chill.”

“Who’s she rooming with now?”

Tobin goes quiet for a moment. Her eyes glaze, dreamy and wistful.

“Ah,” Alex says knowingly. She’s well acquainted with that look, lovingly dubbed the ‘Press-eyes’. “It’s Christen, isn’t it? Yeah, got it in one. What’s happening with you two, anyway?”

“Nunya,” Tobin mutters.

"What?"

"Nunya business." Tobin says, grinning gleefully.

Alex snorts despite herself. “Everyone in my life is five years old.”

“Ouch.” Tobin adjusts her snapback, toys with the straps of the camera. “Seriously, though. I’m working on it.”

“You better work on it faster,” Alex says. “Press is hot.” She grins, wiggling her fingers in a come-hither motion.

“You wouldn’t,” Tobin says quickly, and then flushes when she sees Alex smirk. “Besides, you have Kelley, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Alex says, smiling at the ground. “I do.”

“Dude,” Tobin says, kicking her in the shins. “That’s so gay.”

“What?”

“Your gross sappy smiling. Which brings me back to a very important point. When did you guys start dating and why was I not informed?”

Alex flushes. “We’re not dating. Well, yet. It’s a near thing. I’m still waiting on an official asking-out, but she has my number, so- soon.”

“You’re so gone for her,” Tobin says, peering up at her. “When did you guys even meet?”

“This morning. She stole my bike.”

Tobin does a double take, stares at her in disbelief. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

 

Kelley slides in, two minutes late, to her midterm. The professor gives her an annoyed look, but she smiles with the best of the O’Hara charm, and he relents, setting the test down in front of her.

It’s easy stuff, really. High school level. Kelley breezes through it, and convinces the professor through desperate hand gestures and mouthing ‘please, please, pretty please,’ to let her leave a half hour early. She shoots him a grateful thumbs up and vaults over the row of desks, sidling out of the room.

The first thing she does is unlock her phone and text Alex.

 _Hey hotshot_ , she writes, and then, on second thought, adds a _;)_. Alex responds half a second later.

_Weirdo._

And then, _I didn’t know you were a star soccer player_

Kelley frowns. _Where did u hear that??_

Tobin reaches across Alex and steals her phone, typing out a text. _whats up kel this is tobin_

_Tobs!!!!!!!!_

And then, _You better not be telling her any stories._

Tobin snickers. _i wonder if Alex wants to hear the one about the frathouse and Christine Sinclair in freshman year_

“You bet I do,” Alex says, reading the conversation over Tobin’s shoulder and trying futilely to get the phone back.

_You better not!!!_

_:)_

Alex finally manages to steal her phone back. _Where are you on campus?_

_Herrin_

_???? Where is that_

_Oh yeah,_ Kelley types out, snickering to herself, _I forgot, you’re new to this world of science and discovery._

 _Required science is bullshit_ , Alex writes. _Seriously though, where is that?_

_Tell Tobs it’s the place where Krieger threw up into a bush that one time._

“Oh yeah, I know where that is,” Tobin says, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Come on, champ. Let’s get you to your girl.”

They find Kelley leaning against the building, intently staring at her phone.

“What’s good, Kel?” Tobin says.

“Everything’s good,” she responds, pocketing her phone and bumping Alex’s hip with hers. “Hey, hotshot.”

“Hey, fratboy.”

Kelley pouts dramatically, her eyes wide and her bottom lip quivering. “That’s not a nice nickname.”

It’s unexpectedly effective. Alex stares at her for a moment, before- “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay, lovebirds,” Tobin says, coughing loudly. “I gotta go to Adpho, but I’ll see you around. Don’t make out on too much private property, use protection, all that jazz. Bye!”

“Bye, Tobs!” Kelley shouts, smacking a kiss after her. Alex takes the opportunity to give her a long, lingering once-over, and finally pulls her eyes up to see Kelley raising an eyebrow. Mercifully, she doesn’t comment on it.

“Where’s your baby?” she asks instead.

“I dropped Ruby off at my dorm,” Alex responds. “She’s safe from any grabby hands.”

“Wow, Morgan. Low blow.”

“Well-deserved, I think.”

“I stole your bike _one time_. Let it go, hotshot. Into the wind.”

“Stealing someone’s bike is not something that one lets go. Especially not on the day of the crime,” Alex says, cocking an eyebrow. “And I still haven’t gotten a full apology.”

“I apologised,” Kelley says, pausing on the sidewalk and turning fully to Alex.

“Not a good one,” Alex responds, stepping slightly closer.

Kelley licks her lips. Their hands brush. Something sparks electric between them. “And what constitutes a good apology?”

Alex’s eyes flicker to her mouth, to her eyes, back to her mouth, and this time they linger. “You tell me.”

“I’d prefer to show you,” Kelley says, and she’s reaching up and Alex leans down and her eyes flutter closed and-

“Kelley!”

Kelley jumps, forehead almost colliding with Alex's, and turns around. It’s- _Christ,_ _of all the people_ \- Adriana, winger for the soccer team and ranked within Kelley’s top three least favourite exes of all time.

“Leon,” she says through gritted teeth. Adriana looks between the two of them, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms. She’s been an asshole ever since the breakup, and even before that she was weird about Kelley talking to other girls.

“Coach says practice’s at four today. It’s been moved up because of some scheduling thing.” She eyes Alex, gaze sliding up and down. “Who’s this?”

“Alex Morgan,” Alex says, crossing her arms and bristling at Adriana’s dismissiveness. “And you are?”

“Adriana.” She walks up to the two of them, reaches out to set a hand on Kelley’s upper arm. Alex zeroes in on the familiar gesture, frowning. Kelley inches away from her slightly.

“So I heard there was a team outing after practice tomorrow,” Adriana says, still ignoring the hint to drop her hand. “You coming?”

Kelley coughs slightly, and backs up into Alex. “Uh, I might. But I think I have other plans.”

“Are you sure?” Adriana steps in even closer. “I’ll buy your drinks.”

Alex visibly bristles, and Kelley shakes her head. “No, I really-“

“She has plans,” Alex interrupts, wrapping her arm around Kelley’s waist and tugging her in. Kelley goes willingly. “With me. Tomorrow night.”

“Oh,” Adriana says, and finally lets go of her grip on Kelley’s arm, stepping back and giving Alex a disdainful look. “So you two are a thing. Well, let me know, Kel.” She turns her nose up and walks away.

“Fuck,” Kelley breathes out, and turns to face Alex. “I’m sorry. She’s a-“

“An ex?” Alex asks stiffly.

“Yeah. She’s a total bitch.” Kelley blows out a breath, rubbing her forehead. “Hey. Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Alex asks, eyes fixed on Adriana’s retreating form.

“Tomorrow night. Plans?”

That gets Alex’s attention back on her. “Do you want to?”

Kelley laughs, a little nervously. “I mean, I still owe you that apology.”

“You do,” Alex agrees, softening.

“Dinner? I know a great little Italian place that’s just a little way off campus.”

“Sounds good,” Alex says. She’s still angry, a little tight around the eyes, so Kelley pokes her shoulder lightly.

“Just good?”

“I mean, it depends how it goes,” Alex says lightly.

“Hey! I’m a great date,” Kelley protests.

“So show me,” Alex says, “and there should be no problem at all.”

 

The second Kelley gets back to her dorm, she throws herself on her bed and lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeal into her pillow.

“What’s up?” Christen asks from her desk, tugging an earbud out and tossing her a questioning smile.

“Press,” Kelley says, jumping off her bed and putting her most serious face on, “you will _never_ believe the day I’ve had.”

“Good, I assume?” Christen asks.

“Good? Christen Annemarie Press, you insult me. My day was- I don’t even have words to describe it. Holy shit!” She starts to pace, almost-skipping. “Oh my God!”

Christen turns away from her laptop, interest piqued. “What happened?”

“Okay, okay.” Kelley sprints over. “So you know Alex Morgan?”

“The hot Olympian biker you made me watch all those Nike commercials for? How could I forget?”

“Well, guess who came down from UC Berkeley?”

“No _way_ ,” Christen breathes.

“Yeah, but that’s not even it. So you remember how last night I got-“ she rushes through this part- “kindofwastedand stole someone’s bike? Guess whose bike that was.”

Christen gapes.

“Alex Morgan! And then when I tried to return it this morning, guess who I met.”

“No way,” Christen says breathlessly.

“And guess who got Alex Morgan’s number? And a date? Or, well, a _second_ date, cause, you know, we went out for coffee.”

“What?” Christen shouts. “Holy shit, Kel, that’s _amazing_! I don’t even believe you.”

“Take a look at this,” Kelley says, shoving her phone under Christen's nose. “Oh my God. I can’t even- and we ran into Adriana, too, while I was going in to kiss her, and somehow Adriana being a total dick scored me a date tomorrow night, and it was so- oh my God!” She takes a second to breathe, and then pauses. “Also, you know what?”

“I can’t imagine how this could get any better,” Press says.

“It does, it really does. This puts some pressure on you, though.”

“What?” Christen asks, jumping up. “Wait, why?”

“You know who else Alex Morgan knows?”

“Who?”

“The illustrious, most wonderful-" a pause for drama- "Tobin Heath.”

Christen groans, turning pink and hiding her face in her hands. “Oh my God.”

“I’m just saying, Chris. Gotta hop to it. I expect some cute-ass double dates in our near future.”

“Stop,” Christen whines, and Kelley takes pity on her, ruffling her messy bun.

“Okay, okay, you’re off the hook. But only for now, cause we’ve gotta plan my outfit for my date. With Alex Morgan.”

“Holy shit! Okay, you have to tell me more about her. What’s she like?”

“Oh my God, so gorgeous. You don’t even know. Her eyes are so blue in real life.”

Christen sighs. “Wow.”

“Wow is right.” Kelley flops back on her bed and grins uncontrollably at the ceiling. “Holy _shit_ , Press.”

“I _know_.”


	2. so good, so good, so fuckin' real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> look i KNOW kmew and steph mccaffrey went to boston college but i need some comedy in this bad boy so everyone goes to stanford now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @dreamof1698 on tumblr

The dinner doesn't even end up being their second date.

Alex is halfway through the what is likely the worst paper she's ever written when her phone buzzes with a text from Kelley. She gratefully abandons her laptop on her desk and flops onto her bed.

_U busy, hotshot?_

_Not anymore_ , she writes back, and there's barely a second before another text comes through.

_Would u like to be?_

_I'd love to._

It turns out there's a travelling carnival open on the outskirts of Palo Alto. Alex steps out of Christen's car and is immediately blindsided by childhood memories, the spotlights flickering. A roller coaster cart whirls around a wooden track with a loud clatter, screams trailing behind it. The Ferris wheel spins lazily in the distance.

"Ready?" Kelley asks, coming up to stand by her side. Alex closes her eyes and breathes in the smell of popcorn and cinnamon on the humid night air, and nods.

Tobin is already there, standing by the entrance and fiddling with her keys. Christen catches sight of her and shoves Kelley.

"Hey! It was Alex's idea!" Kelley splutters.

"Gotta get the girl," Alex drawls. Tobin sees them in the parking lot and lights up, smiling wide and hopeful. Christen doesn't stand a chance.

"I hate you all," she says half-heartedly, as Kelley grabs her by the hand and drags her over to Tobin.

"No you don't, Press," Kelley chirps, and nudges her closer. "Hey, Tobs!"

"Hi, Kel," Tobin responds, her gaze fixed firmly to Christen. And then, softer, "Christen."

"Tobin," she says. "It's good to see you."

"You too."

Kelley sidles over to Alex, bumps their hips together. "This is gross," she whispers. "You wanna go in?"

"Please."

"Alright, let's go in," Tobin says. "Tickets are on me."

"You're a god, Tobs."

They split up at the entrance, Christen tugging Tobin in the direction of the carnival games (and the Tunnel of Love, which Alex files away under things to tease them about later).

"Losers," Kelley scoffs. "Rides?"

"Let's do the big roller coaster first."

"Oh my god, you're perfect. Yes!"

They sit in the back, because "those are the best seats, Kelley, haven't you ever gone to a carnival before?", and when the coaster drops and Alex's stomach flips, she grips Kelley's hand and screams along with her, loud and exuberant and lost in the rush of wind.

 

Somewhere between rides, a little girl taps Alex, and asks shyly for a picture, her mom hovering behind her. Alex pauses for a moment, taken aback, before agreeing. The smile that she gives the girl is brilliant even in the dim light of the carnival.

"Holy shit," Kelley murmurs after the girl skips away. "You know, I'm feeling some competition for the title of your biggest fan."

"Biggest fan?"

"Number one, baby. Oh shit!"

"What?" Alex looks over, her gaze catching on the haunted house ride. A scream echoes from inside the darkness, and Alex shrinks back a little. "Or we could get churros," she suggests, trying to push Kelley in the other direction, but Kelley refuses to move, a dangerous glint in her eye.

"Why, Alexandra Morgan," she drawls, "your pusillanimity is astounding."

Alex frowns. "What are you saying?"

"I'm calling you a pussy."

Hook, line, and sinker. Alex's jaw sets, and she yanks Kelley into the (unfortunately, short) line for the ride.

Alex screeches embarrassingly loudly when a half-melted face pops up inches away from her, nearly climbing into Kelley's lap. Kelley snickers at her, but nearly cuts off the circulation in her left hand when someone screams from right behind their cart. It's all fine until the car stops trundling along and clatters abruptly to a halt.

"Fuck," they whisper in unison, and then a spotlight turns on and there's a woman in ghostly white rags smiling blankly down at them,  _pressed against the front of the cart_ , and both of them shriek like four-year-olds. Kelley ends up halfway in Alex's lap, clinging to her, and when their cart rolls back into the main station both of them are pale and hoarse.

"Let's not do that again," Kelley says, climbing out on jelly legs, and Alex agrees fervently.

Alex doesn't let go of Kelley's hand on their way to the game boardwalk.

They're in the middle of a heated argument about the nutritional benefits of chocolate milk when Alex interrupts herself.

"Oh my god," she says, yanking Kelley to an abrupt stop.

"What?"

"Look at that stuffed dog!"

Kelley follows her pointing finger to an enormous brown plush hanging above a carnival game.

"It looks just like Blue," Alex says wistfully. Beneath the dog is a sign that reads 'The Ultimate Soccer Game- Win Big!', and the second Kelley reads the word 'soccer' she's already all in.

"Hey," Kelley says, rapping her knuckles on the counter. "What's this game?"

"Here are the rules," says the carnie. "That over there is the goal. It's maybe half the size of a normal soccer goal. You kick from behind this line." He gestures to a painted white line maybe twenty feet from the goal. "There are five targets that you have to knock out- three along the crossbar, one about halfway up each goalpost. You get five balls, one per target. The crossbar targets are fifty points each, and the goalpost targets are twenty-five each. If you get all of them, you get an extra hundred points. If you can win three times in a row, you get an extra two hundred. Five times in a row nets you an extra three hundred."

"So what I'm hearing is that I get that huge stuffed dog if I win five times."

"Yep. Two thousand one hundred points." He smiles like a shark, sensing easy money.

"Cool. Five rounds, please."

"Only five?"

She grins at him. "Yeah. Here's twenty dollars."

 

Alex smiles so big her cheeks hurt when Kelley hands her the plush.

"You know, this almost makes up for when you stole my bike," she murmurs, tugging Kelley in and pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

Kelley blushes. "Shut up."

 

Alex pays for churros. Kelley gets extra whipped cream, and by the time she's finished devouring it, she has cream smeared along her cheeks, and a dot of it on her nose. She grins at Alex, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

Alex's chest feels just a little too full. She takes a deep breath, shakes her head.

"Want some cotton candy?"

"You bet, champ."

 

"You wanna be a stereotype?" Kelley asks.

"Depends," Alex answers. Their hands are still linked, and Alex swings them absentmindedly.

"Ferris wheel. You, me. What do you say?"

"I like that stereotype."

Alex is far too impatient to wait til the top of the Ferris wheel. The second they're in the air, she's already leaning over.

Cinnamon. Spun sugar. Kelley's jaw is sticky from the cream, and her lips are soft and warm. She scoots closer, turns a little to help the angle.

The kiss only ends because they're both smiling too hard to do it properly, and also because the Ferris wheel guy is waving them off the ride.

 

The next day, Kelley practically floats into the Stanford locker room.

"Oh, boy," Steph says from where she's lounging on the floor, trying (unsuccessfully) to pour juice into Kristie's cleats. "Is the dry spell over, Kel? Are you finally getting laid?"

"Shut up, McCaffrey," Kelley says, an enormous smile stuck firmly on her face. "I've never been in a drought. You, however-"

"That is deeply disrespectful," Steph says. "I'm hot. Everyone wants me."

"That's the delusional talking," Kristie chimes in. Steph whirls on her, eyes narrowing.

"First of all, fuck you-"

"Sorry, I have a girlfriend," Kristie cuts her off smugly. "And so does Kelley, apparently."

"I'll let that comment slide for now, Mewis, but only because this is far more interesting. So, Kelley, who's the unlucky girl?"

"Kelley has a girlfriend?" Ali cuts in, dropping her gear on the floor and pinning Kelley with a stare.

"No way!" Ashlyn holds her hand out for a high five. "Nice!"

"Uh, yeah. It's kind of new-" Kelley scratches the back of her neck- "but she's really cool. Her name's Alex, and yeah,  _Steph_ , she's hot. We're only on our second date, but she's really something, ya know?" She smiles at the ground, barely noticing how the locker room goes silent. "Like, blue eyes, pretty smile, whole thing. She's a biker, too, and she's competitive and sweet and an awesome person. We went to the carnival together last night, and- it was really good. Maybe give me some time, but I'd love for her to meet you guys, because you're like, my best friends and everything. So, uh, yeah. I have a girlfriend."

She looks up, still grinning stupidly at the thought of Alex, and falters when she sees twenty-something pairs of wide eyes on her. Someone's paused the music. Everyone looks dumbfounded, except for Christen, who gives her a little smile.

Steph's the first to break the silence.

"Holy shit," she says. "Are you in  _love_?"

"No-"

"Have you even had sex yet?"

"Steph!" Ali snaps.

"What? I'm just asking!"

Kelley just blushes.

"Is that a yes?"

"There's nothing wrong with sex," Ali starts, turning a little red.

"Well, duh, Krieger. Come on, Kel. Is that a yes or what?"

"Oh my God, Stephan, you totally ruined the moment," Kristie groans, kicking her in the side.

"Yeah, yeah, Kelley's settled down. Have you banged this Alex or what?"

"Don't objectify women!" Carli calls distractedly from across the locker room.

"I'm not objectifying women. I'm asking Kel if she's banged her girlfriend."

"And Kelley doesn't have to answer," Ali chides.

"Yeah, Steph, shut up," Kristie says.

"Wow. Pile on much, Kratchet?"

The door clatters shut behind Adriana.

A moment of silence.

"Well, shit," Steph says, way too loudly, and for once Kelley wholeheartedly agrees with her.


End file.
